Archive for the ‘Rant’ Category
Another one from the travel log. Or tlog as I like to call it. I’m so fucking hip.
It’s my last night in Pakistan. I’m kind of geeked about leaving, so I’m having problems sleeping. It’s been a hell of a week.
Flying from Karachi to Dubai on Emirates is a harrowing journey. Not because it’s long or something — it’s only a 2 hour flight. Emirates calls this kind of short flight an Aerobus. I call it a BeardoBus. That’s all you’ll find on these flights.* Bearded Islamic scholars who don’t wear deodorant and recite the Quran in loud whispers through the entire journey. The really fun part about traveling with these guys is catching them ogling the flight attendants’ legs as they sashay up and down the aisles.
Yup. Saturdays are bitchy rant time. Only this time, it’s not me doing the ranting.
If you’ve been following along in the comments sections of the past few posts, you’ve probably seen the novel-length comments left by a Muslim named Nissa. She* went through and dive-bombed a bunch of posts with her Muslim take on things (ie “You’re wrong, God is right.”), but I published only 2 of the 9 comments she made. Why? Because she’s commenting on posts from 3 months ago. Nobody’s tracked those comments in, well, 3 months. What’s the point?
Either way, a few people got a kick out of the published comments and asked me to publish the mysterious “other” comments for their entertainment. Happy to oblige! I took screen grabs of her posts from my spam box. The only changes I’ve made have been to black out the email & IP addresses.
* I’m assuming Nissa is a female since I’ve never met a boy named Nissa in all my life.
Here’s what old Nissa had to say about the second post from chapter 2 (Women suck. And Jews suck, too.). Remember that from way back in July?
This one is from chapter 2, part 3 (Oooh heaven is a place on earth.):
Chapter 2, part 4 (The cow in question, plus other Quranic silliness.):
I know I said I wasn’t ranting in this one, but I can’t keep my mouth shut. She had to go and drag coffee into it. First off — I am nobody’s servant. So I have a hard time tracking that don’t-ask-questions line of thought. And I dunno where Nissa orders her coffee, but here’s how it plays out at the places I go.
What would you like?
– Large….extra large. Wait, do you have anything bigger than extra large? OK, fine, I’ll just take the large and come back in an hour for a refill.
You want milk in that?
Whole? Skim? Cream? Half & half?
– Surprise me!
How about sugar?
– Packet of Splenda, pleaseandthankyou.
There is no if-you-say-jump-I-say-how-high in my life. There are conversations. Exchanges. So maybe I just don’t get it.
Also, if I had a secretary, I wouldn’t ask him to get coffee for me. And I wouldn’t call him a secretary either. That’s so 1950s. Maybe this is just in the area I live, but if you asked an administrative assistant to fetch you a cup of coffee, he’d throw a piping hot cup of it all over your face. And if he didn’t, I’d do it for him.
And since we’re talking about bosses and coffee, I might as well share this. On a few occasions when I’ve had to work superlate, my boss has gone out to get me coffee. He even remembered the Splenda, because he’s awesome like that. Boy, I really don’t know where I was going with any of that. I just get a little defensive when coffee gets dragged into it.
Lets move on to the comment from chapter 4, part 1 (A scientific miracle in the Quran. Not.):
And chapter 4, part 2 (Mohammed’s Wager?):
(Note: on the occasions that I “dig” in the hadith to find details about things, I get angry emails from Muslims saying I’m obviously using the wrong hadith. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.)
(Note: suddenly the hadith aren’t so convenient, are they? They describe Mohammed sucking on a kid’s tongue. One more time? Sucking. Kid’s. Tongue. My grandpa gave me plenty of kisses, but, um, he kept his tongue out of it. Just sayin’.)
And, even though Nissa does not wish to post any further:
Well, shit, now that I see it written in all caps, I believe it!
Yiish. I tried my best to keep my comments to a minimum, but it’s hard. It’s really hard. Now it’s your turn. All of you who asked me to post the comments — have a field day. Comment away!
Our friends at the Atheist Experience recently got an email from a viewer that got my old wheels turning. Saki wanted to know the best way to approach a certain argument that some Muslims pull out as evidence of their God being cooler than your God. Or your non-God, in this case. Russell Glasser thought I’d like to take a crack at it, and he was right. (Thanks for the forward, Russell!)
From Saki’s email:
ok, i realize that you probably don’t do this sorta thing, but i’m getting really really ticked of over this one god damned (pardon the pun) argument that keeps popping up that i’ve been having to put to rest a good ten to fifteen times now… someone or the other quotes something from their holy book and goes “well this refers to this scientific discovery that wasn’t made until recently. How could people from the 7th century possibly know that?”
Hey, it’s the return of the Quranic scientific miracle! We got into this a little back in chapter 4, but it’s definitely worth discussing on its own. The exact argument that Saki is referring to is laid out in detail at this site. You can read it in full there.
Here’s the 10 second run down for all you lazy bastards out there: the Quran describes embryology in vivid detail which Mohammed’s 7th century local yokels couldn’t possibly have known about. The Quran wins! May Allah have mercy on you silly assholes.
Lets jump in and do it to it.
A couple of days ago, I got a comment that I’ve been thinking about a lot. It was from a nice, moderate Muslim commenter named Nimmy. No, I’m not being sarcastic — she is quite nice, even though we disagree on pretty much everything about Islam, the Quran and, I imagine, even life. Case in point: she thinks buttsex will give you infections and diseases, and I say if buttsex is your thing, stock up on lube and wrap that sucker up.
I couldn’t resist. Oz emailed me this screen grab of my Atheist Nexus page. Check out the banner ad:
Oz, I couldn’t find your page on the Nexus and I couldn’t find a blog either. Feel free to throw those links up, dude. And thanks for sending that my way.
In other news, I can add one more thing to the list of pork products I’ve tried:
- Pork chops
- Bratwurst — a fancy schmancy hot dog!
The verdict? Delicious. I’m trying the cheese-filled ones the next time I visit Wisconsin.
Next post coming up shortly, I promise. Sit tight!
I’ve been putting off having to write a comment policy because, well, I have enough shit to do. I like to think people are mature enough to handle themselves. And we had a nice little community going for a while until a couple of especially irritating jackasses showed up. Hint: it’s not the atheists that are causing me agita.
Disrupting the thread, inciting flames & confusion. Friendly reminder: Don’t feed the trolls, people. You’re just making more work for me.
- Concern trolling
Pretending to believe in X just so you can argue against it.
Being repetitive, boring me to death.
Using multiple identities.
- Assuming I’m Jewish or Christian
If you’re going to comment without checking out FAQs or my deconversion story or seeing the big fat A for atheist in my sidebar, then you’re an asshat.
“God is merciful”, “God be with you,” prayers, etc. I get enough of that shit in the Quran, thankyouverymuch.
Telling anyone they’re going to hell. Again, the Quran covers this in depth. I don’t need to hear that bullshit in my comments.
- Going completely off-topic.
Talking about X when the post isn’t about X at all. I realize some threads naturally veer off course and that’s fine, but there are limits. This is not a BBS or an open forum.
Now I could go through and delete every one of these comments, but that takes time. Time I could spend reading and deciphering the Quran. Time I could be spending with my husband, dog & cat. Time I could be outside, away from the computer. It’s quicker, easier, and much less frustrating for me to just go ahead and not publish your comments.
So I’m making it official. Here’s my policy:
I am God. I don’t like you? I boot your ass out of my Eden.
Simple as that. Know what this blog is about and what it isn’t about, and stick to it. Oh, and cuss your fucking heart out. I don’t give a shit.
If you want to read some comment policies I think are fantastic and apply to this blog, check these out:
- The Apostate
- Atheist a Go-Go
- Atheist Revolution
- Barefoot Bum – He says it best: “Comments are moderated. I will publish only non-retarded comments.”
P.S. WordPress allows simple HTML tags in comments:
<b> – bold
<i> – italics
<blockquote> – to quote something
Links set themselves up; just paste the URL and you’re good to go.
Image tags haven’t worked for me. Silly WordPress! Treat them like links or else nothing will show up in the comment.
That’s it. Now lets get on with life, plz&thnx.