We read the Quran so you don’t have to.


with 14 comments

Eat your heart out PZ Myers! KafirBoy and I went to see Religulous on Saturday.

It was at one of those giant megaplexes, and they stuck it in the back corner of the basement.  No joke.  So by the time we found the right theater, the previews had already started.  (W. looks kind of amazing.)  Get this — the place was packed.  So packed that even the shittiest seats in the front row were taken.  We had to split up and find open single seats, which is always kind of awkward.

I ended up next to an elderly man who seemed all stuffy at first.  Who reads a newspaper through the previews??  Then the movie started and this guy laughed so hard that, a couple of times, I thought he was having a siezure.  The guy literally almost fell out of his seat a couple of times.

KafirBoy sat next to a couple.  A guy who was laughing so hard, he must have been nonreligious…and his extremely uncomfortable, obviously religious date, who he’d somehow conned into watching this movie.  Doh!  They fought the entire time, much to KafirBoy’s dismay.

I kind of sympathized with the guy on the date.  When I was 22, I dated a Super Christian.  The kind who comes from a family of 11 kids, and goes on missionary trips to Africa and shit.  Can you imagine?  I dunno what I was thinking, except that I considered myself soooo tolerant and open-minded about all religions.  Clearly, I, the most open-minded person in the world, could date a Super Christian and not be the least bit bothered by it.

Meh.  I tried to throw that guy under the bus constantly.  “Wanna watch this movie with me?”  “I read this great book the other day.”  “So there’s this lecture at the University…”  And he kept trying to get me to go to church with his family.  He also voted for George W. Bush.  Twice.  We didn’t date for long — 3 months, maybe? — mostly because I got tired of him not putting out.  Marriage, schmarriage.  Heathen ladies have needs, man.  Incidentally, he called me before KafirBoy and I moved out of town to tell me that he considers himself an agnostic now.  Atheism 1, God 0.

There was a group of Pakistanis in the audience, which kind of caught me off guard.  I heard them say “Assalamualaykum” to one another when they came in, although I don’t know how devout they were judging by the laughter and the white girlfriends.

Anyway, all in all, I give the movie 3 thumbs up.  2 for the laughs and 1 for giving me the experience of sitting in a big room almost entirely full of godless heathens.  Guess what DVD everyone* on my Festivus list is getting this year?

* Minus KafirBoy’s Roman Catholic grandma who’s “voting for Palin” because she’s anti-choice pro-life.  Lady’s 92 years old.  I guess I can cut her some slack.


Written by kafirgirl

October 7, 2008 at 8:28 am

Posted in Quran

14 Responses

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  1. never cut the old people slack. That’s how they get you.


    October 7, 2008 at 10:55 am

  2. Hmm you’re probably right. I’m just afraid of a heart attack or something.


    October 7, 2008 at 11:12 am

  3. That voting for Palin stuff might be a topic for the Airing Of Grievances at Festivus.


    October 7, 2008 at 2:05 pm

  4. As far as I can see, there aren’t any release dates for us in the UK. I think the only appropriate response is: Dammit!


    October 7, 2008 at 5:18 pm

  5. Good thing the old guy didn’t lose his teeth!

    My wife and I had to drive over an hour to the nearest theater, but it was worth it.


    October 7, 2008 at 6:43 pm

  6. Lucky you, to have it shown somewhere nearby :)

    Not to stray off subject, but I occasionally use “Assalamualaykum” or the simplified “Salaam” They are traditional greetings despite how Muslims use them.


    October 7, 2008 at 7:05 pm

  7. “I heard them say “Assalamualaykum” to one another when they came in, although I don’t know how devout they were judging by the laughter and the white girlfriends”

    HAHAHAHA!! It just reminds me of all the muslim guys in highschool who preached islam while drinking beer. Loves it.


    October 7, 2008 at 7:48 pm

  8. lol, I was pondered by the packed theater on Saturday too when I went to watch it.

    It was the same exact experience. Thanks for summing up the average/logical person’s experience with the movie.

    It actually got a round of applause.

    That was the first movie/documentary I’ve seen in about a decade that warranted applause in the theater.

    Great Movie if taken at face value.


    October 7, 2008 at 8:40 pm

  9. How do we get on the festivus list? :)

    Another Kafir

    October 8, 2008 at 5:42 am

  10. Florian, after the spanking McCain took in last night’s debate, I think we’ll say, “Palin who?” again by the time Festivus rolls around!

    doubtingfoo, it’s definitely worth driving to. I love Bill Maher more than ever.

    Ned, I use assalamualaykum with my parents, or rather the butchered version that my generation of Paki-Americans tends to use: “slah-lay-kum.” I just don’t use it when talking to Muslims in my own age range, which is probably why those guys confused me. But yeah, you’re probably right, it doesn’t mean they were necessarily practicing Muslims.

    randomness, you had those guys, too? My faves were in college when they’d get into these ‘deep” discussions of God after smoking a ton of weed. “Man, God is, like, everywhere.” Teehee!

    Mr92503, that’s great. There were parts where people screamed out, “Woooo!!” and “Yeah!” And the big round of applause at the end. I think the movie could actually snap some borderliners out of it.

    AK, email me when the movie comes out on DVD. I might be feeling generous =)


    October 8, 2008 at 8:04 am

  11. Oh yeah, that was some theist kickass^_^ Specifically, asses belonging to the faithful, mind. My only probs with the film were:

    1.) how he patronized us by only showing the footage of getting kicked off of the Mormon temple grounds, when I’m sure he had enough time to get out an entire page or two of monologue

    2.) how his closing point agreed so much with Sam Harris’s in End of Faith, yet he hadn’t consulted him at all(in the film, anyway)

    I think the whole thing was fairly well done, and really want to meet that priest he was interviewing at the Vatican XD Amazing how the ‘net can bring about worldwide communications, but dogma that changes at the source only spreads at a snail’s pace. Fearing progress, how very backward ;b

    Mike Lee

    October 8, 2008 at 9:22 am

  12. We didn’t date for long — 3 months, maybe? — mostly because I got tired of him not putting out. Marriage, schmarriage. Heathen ladies have needs, man. Incidentally, he called me before KafirBoy and I moved out of town to tell me that he considers himself an agnostic now.

    Maybe he decided he wanted to get some sweet lovin’. :P

    I haven’t seen “Religulous” yet, but it looks like it’s playing in a theater not too far away, so I hope to soon. I like Bill Maher, even if there are significant points on which I disagree with him.


    October 11, 2008 at 2:43 pm

  13. Yeah, I don’t get his whole “atheists are just as blahblahblah as religious people blahblah” stuff. He’s dead wrong on some shit. But, hey, he makes an entertaining movie.


    October 11, 2008 at 2:50 pm

  14. Bill Maher seems like a militant agnostic:

    “I don’t know and neither do you!”

    But in practice, that is hard to distinguish from atheism. With the possible exception of the likes of Protagoras, who argued in his book “On the Gods” that we don’t know whether they exist or what they really like, but that the safest course was to act as if they exist and worship them in the traditional manner.

    And kafirgirl, I noticed that you reversed certain common stereotypes about sex and religion with that Xian boy. :)

    Loren Petrich

    October 18, 2008 at 7:56 pm

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