It was at one of those giant megaplexes, and they stuck it in the back corner of the basement. No joke. So by the time we found the right theater, the previews had already started. (W. looks kind of amazing.) Get this — the place was packed. So packed that even the shittiest seats in the front row were taken. We had to split up and find open single seats, which is always kind of awkward.
I ended up next to an elderly man who seemed all stuffy at first. Who reads a newspaper through the previews?? Then the movie started and this guy laughed so hard that, a couple of times, I thought he was having a siezure. The guy literally almost fell out of his seat a couple of times.
KafirBoy sat next to a couple. A guy who was laughing so hard, he must have been nonreligious…and his extremely uncomfortable, obviously religious date, who he’d somehow conned into watching this movie. Doh! They fought the entire time, much to KafirBoy’s dismay.
I kind of sympathized with the guy on the date. When I was 22, I dated a Super Christian. The kind who comes from a family of 11 kids, and goes on missionary trips to Africa and shit. Can you imagine? I dunno what I was thinking, except that I considered myself soooo tolerant and open-minded about all religions. Clearly, I, the most open-minded person in the world, could date a Super Christian and not be the least bit bothered by it.
Meh. I tried to throw that guy under the bus constantly. “Wanna watch this movie with me?” “I read this great book the other day.” “So there’s this lecture at the University…” And he kept trying to get me to go to church with his family. He also voted for George W. Bush. Twice. We didn’t date for long — 3 months, maybe? — mostly because I got tired of him not putting out. Marriage, schmarriage. Heathen ladies have needs, man. Incidentally, he called me before KafirBoy and I moved out of town to tell me that he considers himself an agnostic now. Atheism 1, God 0.
There was a group of Pakistanis in the audience, which kind of caught me off guard. I heard them say “Assalamualaykum” to one another when they came in, although I don’t know how devout they were judging by the laughter and the white girlfriends.
Anyway, all in all, I give the movie 3 thumbs up. 2 for the laughs and 1 for giving me the experience of sitting in a big room almost entirely full of godless heathens. Guess what DVD everyone* on my Festivus list is getting this year?
* Minus KafirBoy’s Roman Catholic grandma who’s “voting for Palin” because she’s anti-choice pro-life. Lady’s 92 years old. I guess I can cut her some slack.