We read the Quran so you don’t have to.

Another LOLmuslim Friday. (Plus search engine hilarity!)

with 15 comments

Happy Friday, everyone.  Whoo!  I have the day off!

5:60. Say: “Shall I inform you who will receive the worst chastisement from God? They who were condemned by God, and on whom fell His wrath, and those who were turned to apes and swine, and those who worship the powers of evil. They are in the worse gradation, and farthest away from the right path.

Happy four week anniversary to me.  This project has been going strong for a month now, and I haven’t had an ulcer or a heart attack.  Yet.  Success!

I don’t really have anything to update on, so I’ll just share the latest search engine terms people are using to find this site:

Giggity!  I imagine the person who was looking for jinn wrangling instructions was not pleased.

I’m working on the next post right now.  It’ll show up at some point today.  Stay tuned!


Written by kafirgirl

August 1, 2008 at 9:32 am

Posted in Friday

Tagged with

15 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. “those who were turned to apes and swine”
    Common kafira. Dont unnecessarily criticise Allah.I dont know the swine part. But the apes part is true. Question is what the ape does?Blindly imitates.

    Who imitate(ape) the Jews in circumcision,kosher meat, ban on pork?


    August 1, 2008 at 10:57 am

  2. Do be careful, m’dear. Poor Sona’s going to have a heart attack he’s so worked up about you. An aneurism at the very least.


    August 1, 2008 at 11:16 am

  3. Anand, see chapter 5, verse 60 (right under the LOLmuslim) for the pigs reference.

    leatherdykeuk, still? I thought old homeboy shut down his blog and vanished.


    August 1, 2008 at 11:20 am

  4. Since the Google search with “focking” obviously found your blog by virtue of your copious use of the F-bomb, doesn’t that indicate that there’s some algorithm somewhere at Google that knows to convert the typo into “fucking” when searching? As a programmer, I find that pretty funny. I’d like to see the comments in that piece of source code.

    And “Joo” nearly made me snort coffee out my nose this morning. Have a great weekend, KG and crew!


    August 1, 2008 at 11:22 am

  5. that reminds me howz ur sofa, quran and rum going?


    August 1, 2008 at 12:27 pm

  6. Aren’t the “Own Your Own Jinn!” ads right next to the Sea Monkey ads in the back of comic books? 19.95 plus shipping, be the envy of your friends? And they had those little pictures of a happy Jinn family playing basketball and stuff? Of course, when the package finally came, you couldn’t help but be bitterly disappointed, and almost regretful that you stole that money out of your sister’s piggy bank.


    August 1, 2008 at 12:36 pm

  7. ‘God turned me into a Great Ape!’

    ‘A member of the biological family Hominid?’

    ‘…I got better.’

    Kevin Greene

    August 1, 2008 at 1:48 pm

  8. Ogghead, can you imagine going in to work knowing that your job for the day was to make sure that facking, ficking and focking all show up as fucking?

    Shashi, the party is just getting started.

    Gregory, you’re onto something there. Market that shit. I know at least one person who stumbled across this blog who would buy that.

    Kevin Greene, you make me laugh, sir. High five!


    August 1, 2008 at 3:28 pm

  9. P.S. The official excuse for this verse is that it’s referring to only one specific village of Jews that God turned into pigs or monkeys. I guess one of the monkeys learned sign language and told the Arabs what happened.


    August 1, 2008 at 3:35 pm

  10. Hey Anand,

    Seriously dude…. you need to start a blog. I used to consider myself reasonably well-informed about Hindu constructs – but I’m nowhere as well versed as you. I’ve been following your contributions for some time now and I’m telling you … such knowledge just begs to be shared.

    So I have a suggestion for the blog subject.

    Comparative positions in various religious doctrines about :
    1. Origin of Universe
    2. Origin of Life
    3. Origin of Human life
    4. Organization of society (priesthood, monarchy, peasantry women, slaves, marriage…))
    5. Attitudes towards foods (prohibitions and their reasons).
    6. Attitudes towards various trades (money-lending, cattle-ranching).
    7. Attitudes towards sex and sexual expression.
    8. Socio-religious customs and their origins (Ramzan v/s Lent v/s Shravan….)
    9. Death, after-life and re-incarnation.
    10. Role of clergy and its proximity to political power.
    11. Transcendant experiences and how they are described.

    I’m pretty sure that there are several more dimensions for comparative analysis. Needless to say that such an analysis does not “justify” or “validate” any of these religious claims – but atleast it would be illuminating to know the various pre-occupations in various faiths.

    In addition to the 3 Abrahamic traditions, you could perhaps contrast the Easter traditions of Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism and Sikhism (where applicable).

    Perhaps a commentary on B’hai faith would also be informative.

    Over to you…..


    August 1, 2008 at 8:16 pm

  11. Wouldn’t owning a jinn be considered slavery?

    Oh, wait. The Quran allows slavery, so I guess that’s not an issue.


    August 2, 2008 at 2:55 pm

  12. @Rahul
    Thanx for the encouraging and appreciative words. I will do it.


    August 2, 2008 at 11:17 pm

  13. KafirGirl, your articles are really fucking great stuff!

    I already liked Robert Spencer’s articles about the quran, but your stuff here is really entertaining.

    I am already thinking about becoming a prophet myself. Not only that i could really need an imaginary friend sometimes, i am also fascinated about the idea of getting a bunch of women and sex slaves, all sanctioned by my imaginary friend (of course). That’s really fucking inspiring.


    August 8, 2008 at 6:58 am

  14. Is that picture for real?


    August 24, 2008 at 9:00 pm

  15. Muhamad, yup, it is. It’s a pig in China that was born with some pretty extreme deformities. Poor little guy.


    August 24, 2008 at 9:10 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: