KafirGirl

We read the Quran so you don’t have to.

Meme Tagged: My first day as an Atheist

with 16 comments

I’m not dead.  I’ve just been working overtime.  67 hours in 6 days…and then I caught the flu.  The next post is almost ready and will be up shortly.  Promise.  In the meantime, Db0 tagged me with a new atheist-related meme, (it’s a first for me too, deebeezer) and I’m jumping on it:

Can You Remember The Day That You Officially Became An Atheist?
I remember the first day I called myself an atheist.  But I realized that day that I’d been an atheist for a long time before admitting it out loud.  I was scared of the word — I thought there was no taking it back once it was out there.  Silly, right?

Do you remember the day you officially became an agnostic?
My deconversion was a long, confusing, messy process.  Looking back on it, I became an agnostic when I was 13.  That’s when I went from thinking “This religion doesn’t make sense, but I’ll believe it anyway,” to thinking, “Oh shit, this religion doesn’t make sense and I can’t believe this.”  There wasn’t a specific day or one particular incident that made me question God.

How about the last time you spoke or prayed to God with actual thought that someone was listening?
The actual thought that someone was listening?  Never.  Never ever.  Not even when I was a believer believer.  The whole thing just seemed a little theatrical to me.  The last time I spoke to God was when I was 22 and had just been mega-dumped by this guy I dated for 5 years.  And by mega-dumped, I mean that he didn’t have the balls to do it to my face.  He called his dad who called my dad who called my sister who called me to let me know it was over.  No joke.  I went on a long drive to nowhere that night.  I was all pissed off and thinking about how unfair life is, etc.  How shitheads like my (fresh) ex walk all over people and still get whatever they want whenever they want it.  I rolled down the window and shouting at the snow, “Ha ha, funny guy.  If you exist, you’re a real fucking asshole.”  And I also flipped him off.  I half expected a lightening bolt to strike me down or for my car to veer off a bridge or something, but nothing.  I drove home and went to sleep.  The end.

Here is a good one: Were you agnostic towards ghosts, even after you became an atheist?
Ghosts, jinns and angels were the first to go for me.  My parents taught me — get this shit — that you shouldn’t talk or sing in the shower because that means your 2 angels have to come in there and record what you’re doing.  Which is, like, way embarrassing for the angels.  That, right there, killed the very idea for me.  It seemed so…stupid.  Ghosts and jinns followed shortly after.

Do you want to be wrong?
Meh.  I don’t care if I’m wrong.  If I am wrong (which seems highly unlikely), then so be it.  I made my bed, and I’m totally willing to lie in it.  If the god of the OT or Quran does exist, I’d be more than happy to call him an asshole to his face.

Tag, you’re it!  But only if you have time and if you’re feeling up to it.  Word?

  1. Apostate
  2. Uzza
  3. House of Clams
  4. A4Atheist
  5. Calladus

Written by kafirgirl

October 16, 2008 at 10:20 am

Posted in Quran

16 Responses

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  1. Ha ha, kafir Gir this is funny, cos Barefoot Bum let me do this same thing on his blog site (out of sympathy cos me own blog got shut down and i cant risk it no more and i done it yesterday), and u and me got the same fucking answers! Weird!

    1) I was scared of being it and don’t like the ‘coldness’ of the word. I was actually scared of the idea of apostates and had it up there with witches, jadoo and just general bad stuff.
    2) Yes, about 13, not that i knew the meaning of the word, but through me astronomy i knew it wasn’t adding up-but i had the ‘revelation’ that it was all rubbish when i was 15, i remember time and place, in Medina, outside the Prophet’s mosque itself.
    3) Ure answer is exactly same as mine with regarding to djiin.
    4) Snap, it was when me love of so many years left me.
    5)No, i told i want to be wrong, i dont want allah to exist, no way.

    jasminefrompakistan

    October 16, 2008 at 11:11 am

  2. Good answers, and the ex is clearly an arsehole of epic proportions.

    It’s days like this that I’m glad I don’t blog. If I was tagged with this meme my answers would just be: No, no, no, of course not and no. Pretty boring.

    Although, for that last one, if it does turn out I’m wrong and some god does exist then I’m going to want a serious word with the sanctimonious old prick.

    manigen

    October 16, 2008 at 11:11 am

  3. @manigen that’s basically Barefoot Bum’s answers :)

    Db0

    October 16, 2008 at 12:43 pm

  4. I’ve always been an atheist, as far back as I can remember. So I just think of my first day of atheism as the day I was born.

    fuckreligion

    October 16, 2008 at 1:35 pm

  5. Huh, so that 11 hours and 17 minutes daily basis, no way.
    Now about us, no need to worry, cos ure blog has a loyal following like u know, all what we want, so sorry if i speak for everyone, this is for u to be well and stuff.
    Another, u got the flu 6 weeks back, also it was when u was working very hard, no way. Are u eating ok and stuff, don’t skip ure meals or eat junk stuff cos ure on the go and busy, and fruit and vegetables and even some vitamin supplements is really important. Another, it’s cos ure tired, this is lower ure immunity and so u get the flu more and more.
    One thing u can do, if u get a onion, slice up, boil down in a pan and then add lots of honey and make into a drink, this is very excellent.
    Ok, i got another idea also. If ure very busy, u can make Kafir Boy ure guest administrator! Really, it will be ok, but the question is….. can he take the Holy Qu’ran? I think he can.

    jasminefrompakistan

    October 16, 2008 at 2:42 pm

  6. Lol. Your parents were probably just tired of hearing you sing in the shower. Did you sing a lot of Celine Dion or something?

    Crystal

    October 16, 2008 at 4:23 pm

  7. Manigen, I’m with you — God would have some serious ‘splaining to do.

    Jasmine, it’s been 13 & 14 hour days some days. And weekends, too. Boooo! Getting sick so frequently has a lot to do with a thyroid-related autoimmune disease I have. My immune system is super weak and I get sick a lot. Sad. I feel like the bubble boy sometimes. As for KafirBoy — I wish! He got bored of the Quran on day 2 of this blog. That’s right. My husband doesn’t read my blog. He gets me being me all the time, so he’s not really missing out!

    Crystal….who told you?

    kafirgirl

    October 16, 2008 at 10:07 pm

  8. the lack of rest probably isn’t doing your immune system any favours either. i have something similar in that sense, but i got over my cold this week by sleeping MASSIVELY. rest when you get some time, hope you get better.

    Priest

    October 16, 2008 at 10:34 pm

  9. Ugh, I know, right? Lack of sleep means more coffee. And coffee is so terrible for me when I’m sick. That’s the only time it gets me wired and shakey. *Single tear* I just have to make it through tomorrow and then it’s sleep time from Friday night to Monday morning. I’m hibernating. Thanks for the well wishes, Priest. I’m glad you’re feeling better, too!

    kafirgirl

    October 16, 2008 at 11:10 pm

  10. @manigen that’s basically Barefoot Bum’s answers :)

    Your fault: You tagged me. :p

    The Barefoot Bum

    October 17, 2008 at 1:45 am

  11. When I get sick, I eat Phở! Aaaah! Spicy hot steaming Vietnamese goodness with a big glob of Sriracha! Not only does it kick chicken soup’s ass, it chases cold germs around the room and beats them with a stick until they whimper!

    I did the meme you tagged me with KafirGirl. However, I must warn you that there are side effects from meme-tagging me!

    Calladus

    October 18, 2008 at 6:18 pm

  12. Teehee! You cursed me, didn’t you?

    P.S. I love Phở more than life itself. No joke. I really want to try a Bahn Me sandwich sometime. Porklicious! Our fridge is never without a big bottle of the rooster sauce!

    kafirgirl

    October 18, 2008 at 7:14 pm

  13. I use sriracha (Rooster chili sauce) instead of sweet sauce to dip egg rolls in. And it’s so good on fried rice too.

    I go through a bottle of the chili sauce and a couple of bottles of Tabasco sauce each month. I love spicy food!

    Bahn Me is okay. But the bread always seems a bit dry for me. But then, I’m limited in selection of restaurants around here. Maybe I just get bad sandwiches.

    calladus

    October 19, 2008 at 1:11 am

  14. [...] saw this over on Kafir Girl’s blog and because they’re interesting questions, and I love interesting questions, I’m going [...]

  15. Here’s what I believe:
    No person on this planet can possibly know who or what God is or what his/her/whatever motives are or their desire/intentions for us.

    I do, however, believe “God” exists, though I have no idea what form it takes. Is it a sentient all-powerful humanoid-like being who is angry most of the time? Is it some bizarre creature so foreign to our ability to percieve that it is not possible for our human minds to contain it? Is it an energy source, lacking personal sense of self entirely and we are some kind of byproduct that is accidentally self aware? Is God some cosmic elementary school kid and we are his science fair project?

    Or was God an enormous, singular, lonely being who used his great powers to break himself into an uncountable number of fragments so as to fill the void to experience life as countless smaller, less complex beings that can interact and experience a wide range of joys and pains, successes and failures, love and hate?

    Who knows? Not me! But I take comfort in the fact that since we don’t know, that means the possibilities are infinite. That said, the possibility that there is no God at all is only one possibility out of an infinite number. Therefore it is statistically almost impossible that there is no God at all, so really for me the only question is “who or what?”

    This is the only way I can believe at all. The organized religions are way too obsessed with non-transcendant things, clearly written by men with the prejudices and preoccupations of men. If God hates Gays so much, then why did he make so many of them? What is so wrong with ham? Questions like this make it impossible for me to follow any religion.

    Even as a child they made no sense to me, and I thank my parents for never pressuring me to follow any belief system, but also did not condemn it. They kept the way clear for me to decide for myself what to believe, only asking me to question. Yes, my parents are awesome.

    But, there is some interesting stuff in Buddhism. I like the common sense approach that they don’t really attempt to explain who or what God is, their focus is more practical and transcendant. They are about preparing thier minds so that at the moment they realize they are dead, they do not panic and flee back here for reincarnation.

    It makes some sense that if indeed your consciousness survives death, your first instinct will be to desperately want your life back, and if reincarnation is real, it makes sense that this is where most people would end up: on the infinite wheel of life and death.

    Buddhists believe that if you can master your own mind, then you can choose where you go after death. I think this is the most hopeful outlook of any “religion” and it makes logical sense to me somehow. I also deeply appreciate the lack of dogma. Buddhism doesn’t deal with good or bad, sinner or saint or “thou shalt not suffer X to live” or “so and so race is dirty, decended from dogs and pigs” etc. It’s all about discovering your true nature and liberating yourself from the wheel.

    I think that’s as awesome a goal as any! I don’t know aboiut you, but I sure don’t want to come back! My life isn’t bad, but I’ve always had the nagging suspicion that there are far more interesting modes of existance to experience “out there”. Whatever “out there” is. ;P

    But, I’m not really a Buddhist either, I just study lots of things and enjoy extracting interesting and beneficial concepts from what I discover. I work to open up my sensitivity and feel what resonates.

    But it does lead to the notion that really ALL religions are “right” as long as their basic core tenet is that you are an eternal soul and there is a better place than here that you can go to if you only believe in it enough. All roads lead to “heaven” (whatever that is).

    And if you knew who I really was in my daily life, reading such sensitive introspection coming from me would make you laugh and laugh! ;) The one thing I realize anew every single day is that the universe is made entirely of irony and I am no exception…

    Steve

    Boscoe

    October 22, 2008 at 9:39 pm

  16. Gaack, houseofclams has been off the grid. Responding to this toot sweet.

    HouseofClams

    October 24, 2008 at 1:42 pm


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