KafirGirl

We read the Quran so you don’t have to.

11: Hūd (Part II — Time for Plan B?)

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In the last post, we read about Abraham and Lot’s wild adventures with angels and run-ins with lusty homosexual mobs.  This post is about some of those other guys who show up in the Quran.  The ones we’ve already run into a few time so far.  I kind of wonder, if there were 124,000 prophets in total, why God focuses on the same 7 or 8.  And even then it’s usually just the same story over and over again.  Boh-ring!  Luckily for us, we get a couple of new details with every retelling.  And Noah’s story just got a whole lot more interesting.

We start out with Noah delivering a message to his people:

(25) We sent Noah to his people (and he said): “I give you a clear warning.
(26) Do not worship anyone but God; for I fear the punishment of a dreadful day for you.”

Warning, punishment, dreadful day — yup!  All standard prophet talk.  It’s kind of a wonder to me that people can pick and chose which prophet’s messages to believe since they’re all saying pretty much the same shit.  Anyway, Noah’s people react in a pretty standard way, too.  They think he’s batshitasscrazy:

(27) The leaders of the people who were unbelievers, replied: “We see that you are but a man like us, and see that none among us follows you but the meanest and immature of judgement, and do not see any excellence in you above us. In fact, we think you are a liar.”

See that meanest and immature of judgment bit?  Not to be a total jerk, but it sounds pretty accurate.  The God of the Quran is not exactly a nice guy.  When it comes down to it, God is kind of a jerk.  And we’ve already seen some verses that tell people not to think too hard so they don’t lose faith.  What kinda crowd does a God like that attract?  Think about it.  (But not too hard so you don’t lose faith.)

(28) He said: “O my people, think. If I have a clear proof from my Lord, and He has bestowed on me His grace, though unknown to you, can we force it upon you when you are averse?

See, here’s something God doesn’t really get: clear proof.  He sends down some unbelievably boring books that are full of mistakes and silliness.  That’s his idea of proof.  Yes, yes, we’ve all heard the excuse that the book simply cannot be reproduced and is the single greatest thing ever written and blahblahblahMuslimbullshit.  A) That doesn’t mean a goddamned thing to anyone but brainwashed Muslims, and B) it doesn’t serve as proof of anything.  So, seriously, no more emails about how it’s the most flawless book in the world.  And in case I’m not making it clear enough:  fuck off with that tired old excuse.  Please.  And thanks.

(29) I do not demand for it any wealth from you, O my people. My reward is with God. And I will not drive those away who believe. They have also to meet their Lord. But I see you are an ignorant people.

Noah may not have demanded any wealth from his people, but boy oh boy, that’s not the case with Mohammed, is it?  He kept 20% of all war booty for himself, remember?  And, as we saw in chapter 9, the Quran actually chastises those who don’t give their money to fund Mohammed’s wars.  Erm, I mean God’s cause. *Wink wink*  Your idea of demanding might be slightly different than mine, but threatening and bullying someone into giving you money — that sounds an awful lot like demanding to me.  You can call it extortion if it makes you feel better.

Also, I love that Noah calls his people ignorant.  Who’s more ignorant?  The guy who believes a bush talks to him or the people who think he’s nutty?  I’m just saying.  Anyway, Noah and his peeps go back and forth like that for a while. (You’re stupid.  No, you’re stupid.) And then, finally, things pick up:

(36) And Noah was informed through revelation: “Apart from those who have come to believe already not one of your people is going to believe. So grieve not for what they are doing.
(37) Build an ark under Our eye and as We instruct. Do not plead for those who have been wicked, for they shall certainly be drowned.”

Ta-da!  The ark shows up in the Quran!  From my understanding, the Bible goes into some pretty great detail about the ark.  Size, shape, how many windows, etc.  The Quran doesn’t do that.  It’s just “an ark.”  Which is fantastic because, seriously, I would slit my wrists if I had to sit through a description of how many cubits of what kind of wood and whatever the hell else the Bible blathers on about forfuckingever.

(38) So he built the ark; and when groups of his people passed by him, they scoffed at him. He said to them: “Though you laugh at us (now), we shall laugh at you, as you are laughing at us.

You know what I’m laughing at?  I’m laughing at how childish Noah is.  You’ll be sorry! And I’m laughing at how fucking convoluted this entire plan is.  The whole world is rotten, so what does God do?  Does he strike down the people he doesn’t like?  Does he smite the shit out of them?  Does he just *poof* them out of existence?  No, no, that would be too simple.  It would make too much sense.

No, here’s what God does:  he has Noah build a boat.  A bigass boat.  And then he has Noah gather up a pair of every single species.  Every.  Single.  Species.  On the face of the planet.  On one boat.  Together.  And then they sail around while everyone else drowns.  …yeah.  That’s God’s great plan for how to get rid of the dummies while preserving the good people.  That makes perfect sense.

(40) When Our command was issued and the waters gushed forth from the source, We said: “Take into (the ark) a pair of every species, and members of your family other than those against whom the sentence has been passed already, and those who come to believe.” But only a few believed in him.

So, uh, what exactly was the source of the water?  And how did Noah get pandas, koalas, penguins and polar bears to the ark?  And why the hell did Noah bring animals like mice and rats onboard?  I mean, mice are part of Satan’s army, right?  Why not drown the fuckers?  And what about those pesky abortion-causing snakes we read about in hadith?  Or those nasty old pigs and impure dogs?  Why not weed ‘em out?  Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.  I have so many questions, but God is super tight-lipped on the details.  He’s a secretive guy, dontchaknow.  I’m sure there’s some incredible apologetics bout how the polar bears swam to Australia and carried the koalas on their backs all the way to Noah’s house, but I won’t punish myself by looking that shit up.  Not today, anyway.

(41) And (Noah) said: “Embark. In the name of God be its course and mooring. My Lord is surely forgiving and kind.”

Forgiving and kind??  Chhyeah.  Noah must be pretty new to the whole God thing.  Regardless, they’re off.  Noah and his family, minus one son:

(42) It sailed on waves like mountains (high), and Noah called to his son who was separated from him: “Embark with us, O my son, and be not one of those who do not believe.”
(43) “I shall go up a mountain,” he said, “which will keep me from the water.” “There is no getting away,” said Noah, “from the decree of God today, except for those on whom be His mercy.” And a wave came between them, and he was among those who were drowned.

OK, let me see if I’ve got this straight.  Your area is so flooded that water is pretty much covering the mountains.  Somehow there is only one person in the entire world who has a boat — don’t ask me how that one works.  This person happens to be your father, and he asks you to come on board.  And you say, “No thanks!  I’m gonna go find a mountain to hang out on!”  Seriously?  Seriously??  What.  The.  Fuck?

The water is already up to the mountains — God said so himself.  People would be fucking trampling over one another trying to get onboard.  And here God is trying to say that Noah’s son is all, “Nah, I’m cool.”  Yeah fucking right.  What planet is all of this happening on?

You know what?  Judging by the way he reacted earlier when his ark was mocked, I’ll bet Noah flipped the bird as he steered right by his kid hanging out on a mountaintop.  Ha!  Told you so, you little asshole! This entire “I’ll find a mountaintop” business just reeks of a coverup.

(44) Then it was said: “O earth, swallow back your water; and, O sky, desist.” And the water subsided, and the decree was accomplished. The ark came to rest on Judi (Mount Ararat), and it was said: “Away with the cursed people!”

Again, God could he have just said, “Away with the cursed people!” to begin with and saved a whole lot of time and trouble.  What’s with the ark?  The flood?  The gathering up of animals?  What’s the fucking point?  God doesn’t ‘splain any of that.  Not that Noah bothers to ask.  He’s got other shit on his mind:

(45) Noah called on his Lord and said: “O Lord, my son is surely a member of my family, and verily Your promise is true, as You are the most just of all judges.”

Aww, Noah’s sad because God killed his kid.  Why would he do that?  I mean, it doesn’t really seem very fair, right?  The guy toiled away for who-knows-how-long building a boat big enough to house a bazillion animals — a boat he didn’t really need to build in the first place, since the all-powerful God could have just fixed the problem with one *poof*.  But he did it anyway…and then God drowned his kid.  Not cool.  But God’s got a very good explanation:

(46) “O Noah”, He answered, “truly he is not of your family. He is surely the outcome of an unrighteous act. So ask Me not of what you do not know. I warn you not to be one of the ignorant.”

Oh.  Em.  Gee.  Total Maury moment in the Quran.  Can you imagine?  A big, booming voice from the sky:  Noah…you are NOT the father. Then the wife throws up her hands and goes, “Nnnnnnoooooooooooooo!!!!”, runs backstage and throws herself on the ground sobbing.  And the audience is all, “OHHH! Skank! Slut! Bitch! OHHHHHHHH!”  Or at least the audience would do that if there were more than just a handful of people who survived the flood.  And, um, if most of those people weren’t related to Noah, too.  I imagine the family wasn’t amused.

Anyway, there’s that nugget of new information I was so geeked about:  Noah’s kid is not really Noah’s kid at all.  He is the result of an unrighteous act. Noah’s wife was unfaithful, like chapter 66 says:

(66:10) God advances the example of Noah’s wife and the wife of Lot for those who do not believe. They were married to Our two pious devotees, but they were unfaithful to them, and even (the apostles) could not avail them in the least against God; and it was said to them: “Enter Hell with those (who are condemned) to enter it.”

And that’s God’s excuse of why he drowned the guy.  Not because he was a particularly evil person, but because of something his mother did.  Something the kid didn’t even have any control over.  That makes perfect sense.

I find a couple of things interesting about this whole story.  First off, God says that Mrs. Noah and Mrs. Lot are going to hell for being unfaithful to their husbands.  It doesn’t say jack shit about the men they slept with.  Are they going to hell, too?  Who knows — the Quran is big on double standards.  Lot throws his daughters to a mob to be raped and he’s a righteous, pious devotee, but a woman cheats on her husband and she’s a hellbound harlot.  God is most merciful, most kind and most full of fucking shit.

How does Noah react to all of this?  The news of his unfaithful wife and the paternity test results of his dead son?  He reacts the way you’d expect a mindless zombie of God to behave:

(47) “Preserve me, O Lord,” said (Noah), “from asking You that of which I have no knowledge. If You do not forgive me and have mercy on me I shall be among those who perish.”

Yup.  He takes everything on faith and calls it a day.  And God?  God goes on being a dick as usual:

(48) (And the Lord) said: “O Noah, disembark with peace and safety from Us and blessings on you and the people with you. As for some (of them), We shall bestow advantages for a time, then send a grievous punishment on them.”

Did you catch that?  God plans on blessing some of the saved people for a while and then *bam!* hit ‘em with some serious punishment.  Why?  Why not!  He’s God.  He does whatever he wants, whenever he wants.  He doesn’t give a shit if it makes no sense.  Obviously.  Have you been paying attention?

(49) This is news of the Unknown We reveal to you, which neither you nor your people knew before. So endure with patience. The future is for those who keep away from evil and follow the straight path.

God ends Noah’s story by saying that it’s the first time Mo or any of his people knew before.  Pretty sure the Jews and Christians knew the flood story already, but whatever.  God’s memory isn’t always the best, know what I mean?

Chapter 11 also features Hūd again in verses 50-61.  Nothing new here.  It’s the same old story.  Guy comes to people.  People think he’s an asshole.  God sends and earthquake or flood to smite everyone except the guy and maybe some of the guy’s family.  The end.  Here’s a verse that stuck out and is kind of relevent to that whole mouse thing that’s been in the news lately:

(56) I place my trust in God who is my Lord and your Lord. There is no creature that moves on the earth who is not held by the forelock firmly by Him. Verily the way of my Lord is straight.

God controls every single creature on the planet.  Including those evil mice that crackhead Muhammad al-Munajid keeps blabbing on about.  Nice try, but it looks like God is the asshole who controls those “corrupters.”  Does that mean it’s OK to eat all of the solid food into which a mouse falls?  Is it now blessed?  How does that work?

Verses 61-68 cover Saleh, of she-camel fame.  Again, nothing new here.  Same exact story.  Sort of.  Check this out:

(67) The sinners were seized by a blast from heaven, and lay overturned in their homes in the morning,

Blast from heaven?  Are you sure, God?  Because that’s not what chapter 7 says:

(7:78) Then they were seized by an earthquake, and lay overturned on the ground in their homes in the morning.

Oh em effing gee, a contradiciton in the Quran.  Yeah.  I’m so jaded at this point that when I find shit like this, I don’t even raise an eyebrow anymore.  I sigh and write it down in my notebook.  I don’t even write down contradiction anymore.  I just write ctdn.  You see a couple-dozen and the thrill is pretty much gone.

Here’s another verse that I made a note about, for no real reason other than it made me giggle:

(64) O my people, this she-camel of God is a token for you. So leave her alone to graze on God’s earth, and do not molest her, otherwise the swiftest punishment would befall you.”

Teehee.  Don’t molest the camel, ya’ll.  Or else.  Camel molesters get punished ’round these parts.  No camolesters in God’s kingdom.  Nope.  None a’tall.  Thanks for the lolz, Ahmed Ali.  Someone should seriously have warned you about that one.

Next up is Shu’aib in verses 84-95.  Nothing new here either.  Same exact story as all of the other guys we’ve seen so far.  I was kind of amused by this bit, though:

(87) They said: “O Shu’aib, does your piety teach that we should abandon what our fathers worshipped, or desist from doing what we like with our goods? How gracious a man of discernment you are indeed!”

Doesn’t that totally describe religious people in general?  They worship whatever their parents worshiped, no questions asked.  (And before some Evangelitard chimes in with “But my daddy was a  Catholic and my momma was a Methodist, and I’m born again blahblahblah,” I’ll just go ahead and say sheddup.  You still worship the same God and act like it’s some big fucking deal that you joined a church your parents don’t like.  Same thing.  Different name.  Sheddup.  Don’t email me about this one either, thanks.)

And, finally, verses 96-109 are all about our buddy, Moses.  We’ve heard his story a lot because it lends an air of legitimacy to Mohammed’s book.  Or at least it did to the people who lived in his region back in the day.  See, we’ve got some of your guys in this thing, too!

The money verse in Moses’ story is this:

102. Such is the punishment of your Lord when He seizes human settlements in the acts of wickedness. Surely His hold is grievous and terrible.

God says that he punishes wicked settlements.  Right.  Here’s the thing:  the jihadis are right.  The U.S. is one wicked, sinful nation.  Before you get your panties in a bunch over that statement, let me explain.  Everything is wicked and sinful by the Quran’s standards.  And the U.S. is awesomely sinful.  We’re a pork-eating, beer-chugging, sex-having nation.  And guess what?  We’re still here.  You name a Quranic law and chances are we break it every single day.  Proudly. And we’re still here.  It’s been 1400 years since this book came out talking about sinful nations being destroyed by God.  And the world just keeps on moving the way it always has.  Hey God — we’re still fucking here.  The question, I guess, is where are you?

To me, it’s glaringly obvious that ol’ Mohammed is projecting his own screwy relationship with the local non-converts.  Listen to me or else my invisible friend is going to fuck you up. Substitute Mohammed for Noah, Saleh, Abraham — any of those guys — and it’s the same damn story.  The moral of the story is always the same:  the people wouldn’t listen, so God destroyed them. It happens over and over and over.  And God doesn’t think for a minute that maybe he should switch to a new tactic since his plan is obviously not working.  If God was at all smart, he would have a Plan B.  But no.  He just keeps hitting the reset button and letting everything go down the toilet again.  So God is either not very smart or he’s just not there.  Take your pick.

That’s all I have for this segment.  Coming up next:  WTF moments from chapter 11.  Whoo!  Fun times.  Stay tuned!

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Written by kafirgirl

September 29, 2008 at 7:24 pm

Posted in Quran

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27 Responses

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  1. “…God’s excuse of why he drowned the guy. Not because he was a particularly evil person, but because of something his mother (and father) did. Something the kid didn’t even have any control over. ”

    “My Lord is surely forgiving and kind….”

    Yeah.. Kind of Stupid and idiotic!

    And the relish with which GOD is killing and destroying stuff… its like divine porn!

    Coming soon at a church/mosque/temple near you….. “Blood Lust II”.

    Rahul

    September 29, 2008 at 8:41 pm

  2. You know, everytime I get to read one of these chapters that revel in blood, sex and gore, I wonder why is it that conservatives want us to read the bible but stay away from the sex and violence of Hollywood and Computer Games.

    Me thinks the Bible/Koran should be rated “ZZZ”.

    Rahul

    September 29, 2008 at 8:45 pm

  3. Ahmed Ali’s not too hot on Geography. Judi and Ararat are two different mountains. One’s in Iraq and the other one’s in Turkey.

    Another thing that struck me was that this ark was floating on waves like mountains, while Noah was onboard talking to someone on shore! Obviously, they had cell phones. lol

    watercat

    September 29, 2008 at 9:15 pm

  4. Yipes, that’s terrible. I hope whoever did it gets busted.

    Watercat, see, Noah and his son had these tin cans. and they tied then together using string…

    kafirgirl

    September 30, 2008 at 8:16 am

  5. What a weird retelling of the story. The bible says Noah has 3 sons who were all with him. There is no mention of Noah’s wife having an affair. There was no preaching to the town, after all what would be the point god has already told Noah that he is going to kill everyone except Noah.

    The first thing Noah does after the flood is take all the clean animals sacrifice and burn them for god, the smell of which was sweet to god so he said he would never kill the world again. I just noticed that I don’t recall the Quran sacrificing animals to god on every other page. Did I miss that?

    GAD

    September 30, 2008 at 11:15 am

  6. Listen to me or else my invisible friend is going to fuck you up. is a good half the book, and I’m noticing another theme. God is like “I’m going to kill your wife and family” and Noah and Lot are both like “Oh, ok. Jist don’t kill me is all.” Where’s the fucking honor? Chickenshits won’t even fight to save their own families. Somebody accused my wife of sleeping around and killed my son I know I wouldn’t be saying “Oh, you are so just let me suck your dick” Mohammed’s examples of righteous men are craven cowards.

    watercat

    September 30, 2008 at 11:33 am

  7. Aw, some of the best bits from the Bible are missing from the Quran. It doesn’t have Noah sending out different birds to test if it’s safe to go out yet, until the dove comes back with an olive branch? Or the bit about the rainbow?

    In the Bible, after the flood, God creates a rainbow (the first rainbow?) as a sign that he won’t ever destroy all of humanity via flood again. So then the rainbow becomes a symbol of Gods promise of mercy but I always wondered why God would flood everything in the first place and then go admit that it was a jackass move.

    Crystal

    September 30, 2008 at 12:11 pm

  8. Heh, GAD, it’s funny you should mention that. In the Rabbinic tradition, it’s sometimes a problem that Noah failed to warn anyone else about the flood, leading to questions about if he was really that righteous. So in some traditions, he actually does warn people beforehand.

    Of course, Rabbinic Judaism didn’t start until after the destruction of the Temple, so well after the flood story in the Bible was written, but a few centuries before Mohammad…hmmm…

    Crystal

    September 30, 2008 at 12:23 pm

  9. Interesting indeed, Crystal. The destruction of the temple is also when animal sacrifice died.

    GAD

    September 30, 2008 at 12:51 pm

  10. LOL! The bible says only his immediate family (wife, sons, son-in-laws) followed Noah.

    The Koran says only the meanest and most immature followed Noah.

    watercat

    September 30, 2008 at 1:47 pm

  11. God is like that kid on the anthill with his magnifying glass. He just loves to watch things burn.

    (28) He said: “O my people, think. If I have a clear proof from my Lord, and He has bestowed on me His grace, though unknown to you, can we force it upon you when you are averse?

    Another case of him sealing the hearts of the people against him, then punishing them.

    I have this image of a giant boat in a city as the water starts to fill up like a bathtub. I mean, it’s raining, right? Not tsunami-ing. So there’s not as much debris crushing people. And seriously, no one tried to get into the boat and over-power Noah and his family? What about the people who already had boats? Plot hole much?

    Also, if Noah’s wife had committed adultery way back long ago enough to have a full grown son, then why didn’t god just prevent her from getting on the boat? Did he think Noah would have lost his motivation to build it without her?

    How did the animals pick which two among them would represent their species in the ‘new world’ — gladiator style, a lottery, what?

    I agree with watercat, the degree with which prophets beg god to spare them after god just killed their loved ones is pathetic. Don’t prophets get some sort of immunity idol just for spreading the good word?

    geniusofevil

    September 30, 2008 at 2:12 pm

  12. GAD, indeed there aren’t nearly as many animal sacrifices in the Quran as there are in the Bible. And yet Muslims still celebrate Eid al-Adha — something I found really fucking weird even as a child (um, WHY does God need us to kill a goat for him? Can’t he just do it himself?).

    Watercat, so true. The prophets are pretty much just concerned with saving their own skin. And, oh em effing gee, the LOVE to say “I told you so” as they watch their friends and relatives die. God’s idea of noble, wonderful men is — surprise, surprise — kinda fucked up.

    Crystal, wtf? I’ll have to read the Biblical account of the story. Sending out birds? Olive branches? Uh….why can’t God just tell him it’s safe to go back? Kinda nice that he admits he made a mistake, although I don’t imagine that sits well with the whole omnipotence thing. I mean, how the hell do you explain THAT one?

    Geniusofevil, it doesn’t really say that the water comes from rain in the Quran. It just says that there’s a lot of water from a source. Vague! And then later, the water goes “back” into the earth. Weird, right? Also, it doesn’t technically say Mrs. Noah was on the boat. Just that his family was. Maybe she died earlier? Maybe they were divorced? I dunno what the apologetics are for that, teehee!

    kafirgirl

    September 30, 2008 at 3:37 pm

  13. so you’re saying it’s vague?

    Damn, what a surprise.

    geniusofevil

    September 30, 2008 at 4:49 pm

  14. Yup. Everything is open to interpretation. IE Mohammed didn’t know the details so he just left ‘em out or made them up as needed.

    kafirgirl

    September 30, 2008 at 8:41 pm

  15. Nice comparison of Noah Vs Gilgamesh.

    http://www.religioustolerance.org/noah_com.htm

    General info on the story.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noah%27s_Ark

    GAD

    September 30, 2008 at 8:42 pm

  16. (37) Build an ark under Our eye and as We instruct. Do not plead for those who have been wicked, for they shall certainly be drowned.

    ok, who the fuck is WE, anyways?

    46) “O Noah”, He answered, “truly he is not of your family. He is surely the outcome of an unrighteous act. So ask Me not of what you do not know. I warn you not to be one of the ignorant.”

    Uh, he is SURELY? Doesn’t that sound somewhat speculative? Almost as if god didn’t really know.

    And regarding the ark itself, Mt Ararat is actually a great site that is accomodated for foreigners by the Turkish government to have them search for jack shit for a fee.
    [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ararat_anomaly]

    [sigh] hardly surprising. Apologists that claim the veracity of the bullshit ark story state that the animals came to Noah as part of a miracle. Whether or not he decided to go on a world tour a la Lenny Kravitz and distribute the animals in their current [and APPROPRIATE] habitats is up for debate, apparently.

    Priest

    October 1, 2008 at 12:20 am

  17. @priest
    Mt Ararat has nothing to do with it. Quaran says the ark landed on Al-Judi, which is a mountain in Mosul province of Iraq. Ahmed Ali put that parenthetical Ararat in there: surely he was guided by Shaitan.

    As for who’s talking, Kafirgirl talked about that here; there’s even a flow chart.

    watercat

    October 1, 2008 at 8:17 am

  18. Hi Kafir Girl,

    For this post, basically you are commenting on two stories (in Quran, it is full with stories, because in stories, human will learn), and about punishing wicked settlement.

    I would like to comment and clarify you about your statement that said ‘why we are still here?’. Even you mentioned it yourself that U.S are wicked settlement. This is because of prophet Muhammad prayers to God. Prophet Muhammad prayed for his ummat (that’s mean all of us till the end of the world, believe me, you are ummat of prophet Muhammad) will not being punished until the day of judgment.
    Prophet Muhammad on his deathbed, prayed for us three times before he passed away. He asked Allah to consider us, because of all the ummat, we are the most fragile and weak. He prayed for us, due to his loved for his ummat. Previous ummat can leave up to hundreds of years, but not us.

    And, for the prophet wife, when Quran mention unfaithful, it does not mean they cheated him. But, it means that they did not follow their husband. They are not loyal and faith in their husband belief. They do not become their husband followers, insteadt, they are one of people that mock the prophets.

    Kafir Girl,

    You are saying that holy Quran was created by Muhammad, and he could have heard the story of Noah Ark from jews or christian. But, if it was created by human, why, why prophet Muhammad does not describe it like the bible describe it? Because it stated that bible describe it in much clearer. Why he did not give much detail than the bible? Because if he want to write a book that much outstanding than bible, why don’t he gave explanation much detail than bible? And, Muhammad will learn the story from who?

    Reading through your post, you are portraying God as pathetic and cruel. That’s where you are wrong, girl. He is the Most Merciful of all. His Mercy is much more that His angry. If he is not mercy with you, you are not able to post all your Quran interpretation on your blog. When you are reciting and interpreting Quran, you should know the story behind it, why the ‘ayah’ was sent and the exact meaning. Because, when different people translate it to different language, it can be misleading. Yet, the original version cannot be manipulate because, well, you know it well yourself, it is being preserved by Allah.

    Kafir Girl,

    From the comments here, I notice that there are lots of people murtad(convert) from Islam. I cannot tell you how sad for me the situation is. However, in my case, I think I should be thank you, because when reading your blog, my faith in Islam is growing much stronger. My loved toward my religion getting deeper. Plus, my humble toward my only god, thicker.

    You know why? Because, what said in surah Yaasin is true. (Yaasin, ayah 7-10). Conclusion from these ayah, ‘for the kafir, they are not going to accept the truth, it’s like they have something stuck in their throat, hence they have to face upwards, and its like they have wall all over them, they cannot see, thus, it is the same, whether they have been warn or not, they are not going to accept.’

    And you are Kafir Girl, I bet you are pretty much the same. You are reading the Quran with your own eyes, but you still cannot see. You are able to read it, but you cannot understand.

    :)

    Nissa

    October 1, 2008 at 6:18 pm

  19. watercat, i understand that part, i’m just saying that some apologist ‘scientists’ constantly explore the area looking for the remains. resident asshole Kent Hovind is a huge advocate of that concept, and that’s saying something.

    Priest

    October 1, 2008 at 9:29 pm

  20. Prophet Muhammad on his deathbed, prayed for us three times before he passed away.

    Funny, I thought his dying wish was for his followers to eradicate the Jews from the Arabian Peninsula. Today we call that genocide. It is no wonder that Muslims allied with Hitler during WWII to help eradicate the Jews.

    If he is not mercy with you, you are not able to post all your Quran interpretation on your blog.

    No, it is called Western (Infidel/Kafir) science. Allah had nothing to do with it.

    when different people translate it to different language, it can be misleading.

    Yes, it is so difficult to translate wife-beating into different languages. It just loses the nuances from the original Arabic.

    Michael

    October 2, 2008 at 12:11 am

  21. Yeah–These guys cough up $40 million to build creation museums, but they won’t shell out for a decent expedition to prove their book is true. wtf?

    And the Muslims, why aren’t they swarming over Mt Judi like ants? It’s right in their fucking backyard and it’s only 7,000 feet high fer chrissake!

    watercat

    October 2, 2008 at 12:13 am

  22. Sigh. I don’t know why I’m doing this because it’s not going to make an ounce of difference. Maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment.

    For this post, basically you are commenting on two stories (in Quran, it is full with stories, because in stories, human will learn), and about punishing wicked settlement.

    Yup. I’m well aware of all of that.

    I would like to comment and clarify you about your statement that said ‘why we are still here?’. Even you mentioned it yourself that U.S are wicked settlement.

    I was being facetious when I said the US is a wicked settlement. I was being jocular. Humorous. Silly. Not serious.

    This is because of prophet Muhammad prayers to God. Prophet Muhammad prayed for his ummat (that’s mean all of us till the end of the world, believe me, you are ummat of prophet Muhammad) will not being punished until the day of judgment.

    Prophet Muhammad on his deathbed, prayed for us three times before he passed away. He asked Allah to consider us, because of all the ummat, we are the most fragile and weak. He prayed for us, due to his loved for his ummat. Previous ummat can leave up to hundreds of years, but not us.

    I would love to see your sources on these claims. No really. I would looooooove to see ‘em. If they’re hadith, then don’t bother, because hadith are contradictory and unprovable. (When I use them in my post, I treat them like fiction — same as the Quran.)

    Also, you can say “believe me” a hundred times and unless you’re able to produce some actual evidence for the horseshit you’re flinging, I’ll treat it like…well, exactly that.

    And, for the prophet wife, when Quran mention unfaithful, it does not mean they cheated him. But, it means that they did not follow their husband. They are not loyal and faith in their husband belief. They do not become their husband followers, insteadt, they are one of people that mock the prophets.

    Not according to Ahmed Ali, Yusuf Ali and the other translations I checked. They all have the little story about how Noah’s son is not really his own son. How does that happen, exactly, without Noah’s wife cheating on him? I didn’t realize women could get pregnant with someone else’s baby while remaining faithful to their husbands. Perhaps it’s another “miracle” of the Quran?

    Kafir Girl,

    You are saying that holy Quran was created by Muhammad, and he could have heard the story of Noah Ark from jews or christian. But, if it was created by human, why, why prophet Muhammad does not describe it like the bible describe it?

    Because it stated that bible describe it in much clearer

    Um, because he didn’t have the full story? Because he only knew half the story? Because he filled in the gaps of what he didn’t know with his own inventions?

    Why he did not give much detail than the bible? Because if he want to write a book that much outstanding than bible, why don’t he gave explanation much detail than bible? And, Muhammad will learn the story from who?

    He did give details that were not in the Bible. Plenty of them.

    Mohammed learned the story from who? You do realize that there were a LOT of Christians and Jews living in Arabia at the time Mohammed was preaching, right? Mecca & Medina were not isolated areas by any stretch of the imagination. And there are hadith (if you’re accepting some of them, you’re accepting em all) that say Khadija used to take Mohammed to hear a Christian convert preach and read the Bible out loud. Your claims are, I’m sorry if I’m being harsh, really dumb.

    Reading through your post, you are portraying God as pathetic and cruel. That’s where you are wrong, girl.

    No. He’s portraying himself as pathetic and cruel. I’m just passing it on. Also, fuck you for calling me girl in such a condescending manner.

    He is the Most Merciful of all. His Mercy is much more that His angry. If he is not mercy with you, you are not able to post all your Quran interpretation on your blog.

    Merciful my ass. Just because your particular interpretation of the religion makes him a happy lovey-dovey God, that doesn’t mean it’s a fact. I’m reading the Quran for what it is. A piece of fiction. And guess what? God IS cruel and pathetic.

    By the way, I’m “able” to post on my blog because some very smart people invented computers and the internet. Not because of the invisible man in the sky and his invisible mercy. Thanks.

    When you are reciting and interpreting Quran, you should know the story behind it, why the ‘ayah’ was sent and the exact meaning. Because, when different people translate it to different language, it can be misleading. Yet, the original version cannot be manipulate because, well, you know it well yourself, it is being preserved by Allah.

    Can you prove that God is guarding the Quran from being changed? Can you prove it without saying “The Quran says” or “The hadith says” or “Mohammed says” or “Believe me”? My guess is no, you can’t.

    Kafir Girl,

    From the comments here, I notice that there are lots of people murtad(convert) from Islam. I cannot tell you how sad for me the situation is. However, in my case, I think I should be thank you, because when reading your blog, my faith in Islam is growing much stronger. My loved toward my religion getting deeper. Plus, my humble toward my only god, thicker.

    It warms my heart to hear from other ex-Muslims. It makes me unbelievably happy to know that I’m playing some small part in bringing intelligent people together —  people who were able to shake off the brainwashing and bullshit that you embrace.

    You know why? Because, what said in surah Yaasin is true. (Yaasin, ayah 7-10). Conclusion from these ayah, ‘for the kafir, they are not going to accept the truth, it’s like they have something stuck in their throat, hence they have to face upwards, and its like they have wall all over them, they cannot see, thus, it is the same, whether they have been warn or not, they are not going to accept.’

    That’s right. Your little book says that God’s put a seal over kafirs’ hearts. It also says that you shouldn’t bother preaching to those who will not listen, so you’re going against your own God’s words there.

    And you are Kafir Girl, I bet you are pretty much the same. You are reading the Quran with your own eyes, but you still cannot see. You are able to read it, but you cannot understand.

    :)

    You know what I hate? I hate when people come on here and think they’re making some biting, scathing, terrible attack on me, and then they end their post with a smiley face. Like, “See? No hard feelings.” Major, major pet peeve of mine. Intelligent people, I’ve found, don’t need to end with an emoticon to get their point across. They’re articulate enough to do it with their words. Just a thought.

    kafirgirl

    October 2, 2008 at 3:15 pm

  23. Regarding the “camel molesting”, what do the other translations say? I’m curious: is the molestation sexual in nature, or does it take the more archaic meaning of “annoying”?

    Sir Jebbington

    October 3, 2008 at 7:32 pm

  24. Sir Jebbington, about the camel molesting, it just means to leave the camel alone. Nothing sexual. Here’s what some other translations just:

    A. J. Arberry: (64) O my people, this is the She-camel of God, to be a sign for you. Leave her that she may eat in God’s earth, and touch her not with evil, lest you’ be seized by a nigh chastisement.’
    Pickthall: (64) O my people! This is the camel of Allah, a token unto you, so suffer her to feed in Allah’s earth, and touch her not with harm lest a near torment seize you.
    Yusuf Ali: (64) “And O my people! This she-camel of Allah is a symbol to you: leave her to feed on Allah’s (free) earth, and inflict no harm on her, or a swift penalty will seize you!”

    kafirgirl

    October 4, 2008 at 9:45 am

  25. NOAH: Hey, God! You drowned my son!
    GOD: Nope, he wasn’t really your son.
    NOAH: Everything’s okay, then! Hooray!

    And if God isn’t punishing anyone until Judgment Day, as Nissa the Troll indicates, then who’s responsible for all the bad stuff that happens to us now? I thought it was ALL supposed to be the will of Allah.

    Nathan

    October 4, 2008 at 1:59 pm

  26. Watercat, i never thought about the Mt Judi detail. Good call. As far as the research goes for the ark, who needs it?

    Check this out:

    This guy says he found out the CIA found Noah’s ark and is hiding it from the general public. Crazy much?

    Priest

    October 5, 2008 at 9:08 pm


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