KafirGirl

We read the Quran so you don’t have to.

4: The Women (Part II — Mohammed’s Wager?)

with 29 comments

For this post, I’m not even going to bother writing an intro.  I’m just going to cut to the chase, and post the single most wonderful sentence I have found in the Quran thus far.  When I read it, the clouds parted, the sun came out and birds started chirping. Everyone came out of their houses and did this big synchronized Old Hollywood dance number, as if they’d been rehearsing and waiting all their lives for just this moment.  Jews and Muslims hugged.  Catholics and Protestants held hands.  Gays and lesbians high-fived.  Buddhists made out with Hindus.  And there were atheists, too!  Atheists, rejoicing, weaving through the crowd, saying, “See? It’s not so hard, is it?”  Life. Was. Beautiful.  All thanks to this one short verse from chapter 4.

171. O people of the Book, do not be fanatical in your faith

Oh.  Their God. Do not be fanatical in your faith.  I am struck speechless.

…unfortunately for all of us, God had to open his big, fat mouth and fuck it all up:

and say nothing but the truth about God. The Messiah who is Jesus, son of Mary, was only an apostle of God, and a command of His which He sent to Mary, as a mercy from Him. So believe in God and His apostles, and do not call Him ‘Trinity’. Abstain from this for your own good; for God is only one God, and far from His glory is it to beget a son. All that is in the heavens and the earth belongs to Him; and sufficient is God for all help.

Well, shit, ya’ll.  Back to the Quran as usual.  I knew it was too good to be true.  To dream a dream…

God wants the Christians to know for, like, the 80,589th time, that the Trinity is a bunch of bullshit.  And, holy shit, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually agree with God for a change.  Ack.  That leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  But I’m (half a) man enough to to admit it:  the Trinity is a bunch of bullshit.

36. Pay homage to God, and make none His compeer,
and be good to your parents and relatives, the orphans and the needy and the neighbours who are your relatives, and the neighbours who are strangers, and the friend by your side, the traveller and your servants and subordinates.

Thor’s hammer!  I agree with God.  Again.  It burns!  It burrrrrns!

Seriously though, read that again, you guys.  Those lines are chock fucking full of wholesome goodness.  Treat your family well, be kind to your friends and neighbors, help out orphans and needy people?  Be nice to travelers and the people who you hold authority over?  All wonderful things.  I cannot argue with that.  The world would probably be a better place if everyone lived by the Golden Rule.  But you didn’t need the Quran to tell you that.  The idea existed before Mohammed or the Quran, or, hell, even Jesus, who may not have existed at all.  But that’s a horse of a Christian color.  On with the verse:

God does not surely love those who are arrogant and boastful,

What.  The.  Hell?  Are there are no fucking mirrors in heaven?  For someone who is soooo all-knowing, God apparently does not know himself.  God does not surely love those who are arrogant and boastful?  Is this the same God who reminds us every 2.5 verses that he is the most powerful, the most compassionate, the most benevolent, the most everything ever? Is this that God?  That self-aggrandizing, self-obsessed, braggart of a fucking God?  And he has the balls to say he doesn’t love those who are arrogant and boastful?

Well, fuck me!  The entire Quran is basically a love letter from God to God.  It’s about as arrogant and boastful as you can get.  Either God has one hell of a sense of humor, or he’s so busy jerking himself off and reminding himself how wonderful he is, that the irony is entirely lost on him.  Shitfuckandass, that guy gets me so up in arms.  Moving along.

79. What comes to you of good is verily from God; and what comes to you of ill is from your own self (your actions).

All the good things that happen to you?  Yup, God does them!  (Isn’t he great?)  All the bad things that happen to you?  Guess what?  You do them to yourself.  (You’re a fucking idiot.)  Circumstance?  No such thing!  Thank God and blame yourself!  What a guy!  God, I mean.  Not you.  You suck, remember?

38. Those who spend of their wealth to show off and do not believe in God and the Last Day, take Satan as companion, and how evil a companion (have they)!
39. Would something have befallen them if they had believed in God and the Last Day, and spent of what has been given them by God? God is fully aware of all they do.

If you’re not with God, you’re obviously with the devil.  Would it be so bad if you just shut up and believed in God?  Oh hell no.  Is it just me, or is verse 39 kind of reminiscent of Pascal’s Wager?  I’m sure it’s not intentional — it sounds more like Mohammed whining and being all insecure again.  But, still, that’s all I can think of.  Hedge your bets; believe in God.  Or not:

48. God does not forgive that compeers be ascribed to Him, though He may forgive aught else if He please. And he who ascribes compeers to God is guilty of the gravest sin.

That’s right.  The worst sin ever is not disbelief in God.  It’s believing that someone else is equal to God.  He’ll forgive damn near anything else he wants, because, well, he’s God.  Maybe if he’s having a particularly nice day, he’ll even forgive us godless heathens.  But if you believe that Jesus was the son of God?  You’re committing the gravest sin.  Christians:  you’re fucked.  Do not pass go, do not collect $100 $200, go straight to hell.

Here’s another verse that says the same thing:

116. God does not forgive that compeers be ascribed to Him, and absolves all else whatsoever He will. And he who associates compeers with God has indeed wandered far astray.

See that there?  Repetition like that is all over the Quran, and it makes me want to claw my own eyes out.  Couldn’t he have one of his angels edit the damn thing down or something?  Fucking hell.  No wonder nobody reads this boring book.

Anyway, it’s kind of like Pascal’s Wager in reverse:  it’s actually a safer bet to believe there’s no God than it is to believe in Jesus. But, wait.  What exactly happens if you do believe in Jesus?  Aside from the hell and the boiling water and the burning skin?  Check it out:

47. O people of the Book, believe in what We have revealed, which confirms what is already with you before We disfigure your visages and turn your faces about and curse you, as We did with those who had broken the Sabbath; and what God decrees comes to pass.

Yes, you read that right:  God will fuck your face up! He did it to the Jews who broke the Sabbath, and goddammit, he’ll do it to the Christians who won’t convert to Islam.

Wow.  Sounds like the carrot-on-a-stick approach wasn’t working out so well for Mohammed, huh?  Christians probably weren’t buying that whole gardens with running water thing.  And they probably shit kittens when they found out about all that gay sex with gorgeous young boy-virgins.  Some people are into that sort of thing, but not the Christians.  At least not in public.

So what does Mohammed do?  He throws out the carrot and gives ‘em the stick.  Listen to God, or he’ll curse you.  Listen to God, or he’ll disfigure your face.  Listen to God, or he’ll treat you like….the Jews!  Oh, the horror!  The horror!!



Other chapter 4 stuff that’s worth discussing:

  • God cares about your hygiene.  A lot.  Remember all the purifying baths people have to take after sex, after periods, after dreams, etc?  But what do you do if, say, it’s 650 CE and you’re in the middle of the desert with no access to water?  God say it’s OK for you to wash your face with…wholesome dust?  Does Mohammed God mean sand?   What happens if you get that wholesome sand in your eye?  Rinse out your eye with more sand??  I’m just sayin’.
  • 43. O you who believe, do not perform your service of prayer when you are intoxicated until you are sure of what you are saying, nor when in a state of seminal pollution, until you have taken a bath, except when you are travelling. But in case you are ill or are travelling, or you have relieved yourself of nature’s call, or cohabited with a woman, and cannot find water, then take wholesome dust and pass it over your face and hands: God is benign and forgiving.

  • Hell, hell, and more hell.  Mohammed can’t get enough of it.  The guy barely says two words about heaven (gardens, rivers), but he totally gets off on talking about hell.  Keep in mind that this is the same guy who thought there were evil spirits residing in his bathroom. So, yeah, he’s basically a raving fucking lunatic.

    56. And those who disbelieve Our revelations shall be cast into Hell; and when their skin is burnt up and singed, We shall give them a new coat that they may go on tasting the agony of punishment, for God is all-mighty and all-wise.

  • Need more justification for jihad?  Check it out:

    69. Those who obey God and the Prophet are with those who are blessed by God, the prophets, the sincere and the trustful, the martyrs and the upright; and how excellent a company are they!

    Ack.  The M word.  Martyr. I had to check other translations to see what they say:

    A. J. Arberry 4:69. Whosoever obeys God, and the Messenger — they are with those whom God has blessed, Prophets, just men, martyrs, the righteous; good companions they!
    Pickthall:

    4:69. Whoso obeyeth Allah and the messenger, they are with those unto whom Allah hath shown favour, of the prophets and the saints and the martyrs and the righteous. The best of company are they!


    Yusuf Ali:
    4:69.
    All who obey Allah and the messenger are in the company of those on
    whom is the Grace of Allah,- of the prophets (who teach), the sincere
    (lovers of Truth), the witnesses (who testify), and the Righteous (who
    do good): Ah! what a beautiful fellowship!
  • See that? See how the Yusuf Ali translations is all watered down whereas the other ones just spit it out? That’s the reason Muslim apologists love Yusuf Ali, and hold his translation in such high regard. It’s because he consistently waters down the bullshit and throws in those cute little parenthetical asides to explain what he means. Fuck. That. The Ahmed Ali translation is by no means perfect. I rip on his shit all the time. But Yusuf Ali? I wouldn’t line the bottom of a fucking bird cage with Yusuf Ali’s version.  I wouldn’t fucking wipe my ass on the Yusuf Ali version.  Actually scratch that.  I totally would wipe my ass on the Yusuf Ali version, and we all know it.

  • What happens when a Muslim kills another Muslim by mistake?  Why, he has to free a Muslim slave, of course!  OK a) Where does one find Muslim slaves these days? and b) Why isn’t this verse all about how horrible slavery is and how you should free all slaves regardless of whether they believe in your fucking God or not?

    92. It is not for a believer to take a believer’s life except by mistake; and he who kills a believer by mistake should free a slave who is a believer, and pay blood-money to the victim’s family unless they forego it as an act of charity. If he belonged to a community hostile to you but was himself a believer, then a slave who is a believer should be freed. In case he belonged to a people with whom you have a treaty, then give blood-money to his family and free a believing slave. But he who has no means (to do so) should fast for a period of two months continuously to have his sins forgiven by God, and God is all-knowing and all-wise.

    And c) What happens if someone kills a Muslim on purpose? That one’s easy: they burn in hell! This book is getting mighty predictable.

    93. Any one who kills a believer intentionally will be cast into Hell to abide there for ever, and suffer God’s anger and damnation. For him a greater punishment awaits.

  • So lets say you do not convert to Islam, and you die. What happens? Yup. Hell, again. And if you’re a victim of geography? Like say, just hypothetically, you’re born in a super Christian area, and they’ll burn your ass alive if you convert to Islam. What then? God says: Too. Fucking. Bad. The world is huge. You should have moved to a Muslim-friendly area. (See above about how all bad things happen to you because you suck and you deserve them.)

    97. As for those whose souls are taken by the angels (at death) while in a state of unbelief, they will be asked by the angels: “What (state) were you in?” They will answer: “We were oppressed in the land.” And the angels will say: “Was not God’s earth large enough for you to migrate?” Their abode will be Hell, and what an evil destination!

  • Man. This has all the makings of a good drinking game. Every time God banishes you to hell, take a drink. I guarantee you’ll be drowning in your own vomit halfway through any given chapter. (Please don’t actually do this. You will need your stomach pumped.)

  • Satan misleads people and orders them to alter God’s creation:

    117. In His place they invoke only females (the pagan deities); and instead of Him they invoke Satan the obstinate rebel
    118. Who was condemned by God and who said: “I shall take from Thy creatures my determinate share,
    119. And mislead them and tempt them, and order them to slit the ears of animals; and order them to alter God’s creation.” He who holds Satan as friend in place of God will assuredly be damned to perdition.

    The Skeptic’s Annotated Quran has a note saying that some Muslims interpret that last verse to mean that they can’t pluck their eyebrows or shave their beards. No.  Fucking.  Way.  The SAQ link was broken, but I did a quick Google search. Turns out it’s true. They’re fucking fretting over tweezing eyebrows and shaving beards, and they’re totally ignoring the obvious. One word: circumcision. How is that not altering God’s creation? Plus, why the fuck would God create foreskin if he just wants us to remove it? My conclusion?  They stole it from the Jews.  Just like everything else.  Discuss.

Coming up next:  stuff about women. Finally. I saved it for last, because I haven’t had the stomach to sit down and do it until now. That’s how awesome it is!  Stay tuned for the last post about chapter 4.  Whoo!

Written by kafirgirl

July 17, 2008 at 3:34 pm

Posted in Quran

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29 Responses

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  1. I’m guessing the bit about not being fanatical is one of the things God wants us to throw out?

    musesusan

    July 17, 2008 at 4:21 pm

  2. Well, if taken out of context, it’s fantastic. But if you read the rest of the verse, it’s the usual fucktard God hates everyone who isn’t Muslim bullshit. Homeboy needs to quit while he’s ahead.

    kafirgirl

    July 17, 2008 at 4:52 pm

  3. Your very funny and talented! Your not just giving your opinion on what you read, your grouping like verses for comparison and checking translations, checking the SAB etc. Which is more informative for those of us following along.

    One note, in the top section it says that god will forgive anything except believing in another god (or peer to god). But the bottom section would seem to contradict that with it’s list of reasons you will go to hell, at least no provision was given for forgiveness there.

    Looking forward to more.

    GAD

    July 17, 2008 at 5:29 pm

  4. Hi GAD, I think I see what you mean, but I think you missed one thing. The top doesn’t say God will forgive anything except the belief in another God or an equal to God. It says that God might forgive anything if he feels like it. He may or may not choose to forgive any sin, except belief in other gods. No guarantees. Does that make sense?

    There are plenty of contradictions in the Quran, though, so it’s only a matter of time before another one crops up!

    Thanks for the feedback, by the way. I’m a pretty hardcore skeptic, so it’s hard for me to take anything — even the translation I’m using — at face value.

    kafirgirl

    July 17, 2008 at 5:39 pm

  5. OK, perhaps I’m confused….

    God said:

    “48. God does not forgive that compeers be ascribed to Him, though He may forgive aught else if He please.”

    You said:

    “He’ll forgive damn near anything else he wants, because, well, he’s God.”

    Which seemed to confirm that you believed god would forgive anything but this.

    “I’m a pretty hardcore skeptic, so it’s hard for me to take anything — even the translation I’m using — at face value.”

    That’s very good! But even a hardcore skeptic has to make decisions based on the information available…….

    GAD

    July 17, 2008 at 6:09 pm

  6. Tut tut Kafirgirl! It’s bad enough being constantly shortchanged by GOD – how come you’re doin it too?

    I want my FULL $200 when I pass Go!

    I enjoyed the mirrors bit – how can we blame muslims when it’s a trickle-down from The Almighty Himself! Woudn’t-know-logic-if-it-hit-them-on-the-head is actually a universal attribute across all religions.

    sista

    July 17, 2008 at 9:00 pm

  7. Shit, I knew I should have looked it up. Thanks for catching that, sista! As an aside, my husband and I can’t play Monopoly together anymore. The shit-talking gets out of control and it’s always a sore loser situation at the end, what with the gloating.

    kafirgirl

    July 17, 2008 at 9:24 pm

  8. Okay, so this week I’ve been watching Joss Whedon’s web musical, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-along Blog, and thus when you once again had fun with God’s self-love problem, I suddenly knew The Truth:

    God is Captain Hammer.

    (if you haven’t, go watch it at drhorrible.com. But quick! The eps get taken down on the 20th. You’ll totally see what I mean)

    I’d love to hear a Muslim scholar explain how burning the skin off of people and then regrowing the skin again to torture them more makes god “all-wise” and “all-knowing.” That’s one thing I love with the way the Quran is written — so much is non sequitor.

    Gregory

    July 17, 2008 at 10:35 pm

  9. Gregory, I’ll definitely check it out. Loooove Joss Whedon.

    And I know what you mean. It’s almost like he’s setting himself up to be mocked. If it wasn’t the absolute bane of my existence at the moment, I might even enjoy the laughs.

    kafirgirl

    July 17, 2008 at 11:13 pm

  10. Stand back, everyone! Nothing here to see!
    Just depravity and sinfulness, and fighting with it – me!
    Yes, Captain Allah is here, hair blowing in the breeze.
    The day needs my saving expertise!

    Kazim

    July 18, 2008 at 12:17 am

  11. Hi kafirgirl

    Just came across this, linked to a science and development site. Not being able to read Arabic I can’t tell you all it says, but it implies you can listen to the Koran on MP3. Probably not in English though. Maybe you can listen as well and get through it all quicker!

    Oz

    July 18, 2008 at 1:54 am

  12. I don’t suppose you could put someone above Allah, could you? Why settle for equivalence when you can go one better? That wasn’t verboten was it? At least not in your reading so far.

    Oz

    July 18, 2008 at 2:29 am

  13. Ha! Nice, Russell. Now I really have to check it out.

    Oz, I’m sure it’s in Arabic. My parents have CDs that they used to listen to in the car, and it was always in Arabic (I guess they liked how it sounded?). I’ll have to go back and make sure Mohammed doesn’t mention putting someone above Allah — I can say with a good deal of confidence that he has not, at least not so far. I wonder if he could have even imagined that as a possibility.

    kafirgirl

    July 18, 2008 at 7:34 am

  14. Hi Kafirgirl.

    I have been reading your blog since day 1 (came across through the link on atheistexperience.blogspot.com) and lady, I must say, you are seriously kicking the shit out of that book :-)

    Even I recently completed my horrendous journey through the deep shit this book is. And I actually decided to read 3 versions (Yusufali, Pickthall and Shakir) simultaneously (courtesy: University of Southern California website) so that there are less chances of “scientific knowledge” creeping into the translation “inadvertently”.

    I can totally understand the trouble in which you are putting your brain and your senses. Many a times, I used to question myself, is this all worth the trouble??? Anyways I am so happy I am done with it.

    Anyways carry on this great blog, and thanks for my daily dose of fun :-)

    Cheers!

    Husain

    July 18, 2008 at 7:49 am

  15. Hi Husain! You read 3 versions of the book simultaneously? Holy. Shit. You, sir, are my hero. I would bow down to you, but then God would get all pouty and jealous and he might strike you down with lightning. You know how he is. I do sometimes question whether it’s worth the trouble, but I’m learning so much. The desire to learn always wins out in my book.

    It’s none of my bidness, but I have to ask — Husain is usually (though not always) a Muslim name. Are you an ex-Muslim? If so, high five! and please share your story.

    kafirgirl

    July 18, 2008 at 7:56 am

  16. P.S. I just realized something. OZ, about putting other Gods close to, equal to or above Allah….why doesn’t he just fucking strike those false gods down? He talks a lot of smack about destroying people (um, mostly the Jews), but he can’t just knock over their statues and set their paintings on fire??

    kafirgirl

    July 18, 2008 at 7:59 am

  17. Fascinating.
    And Abhorrent.

    Thanks.

    leatherdykeuk

    July 18, 2008 at 8:19 am

  18. Yes, you guessed it right. I am an ex-Muslim. You know the kind who thinks in the childhood that there is a big benevolent sky daddy up there and life is a fairy tale :-)

    However, one day, I got a book in my hands, called Oxford History of World Religions. That was when I was like 12-13 years old. And I was like, all these fairy tales sound so similar! Then why the fuck do people really keep shitting about how one religion is better than the other one. Then I decided to ask questions. And that was it. Thats when the sky daddy started vanishing in thin air!

    Then my parents started asking me to read the Quran. So I said I need one with translation. Arabic is not my language. So I got one. But it was much more watered down than the version you are reading. And I thought, ok, maybe, the sky daddy is not that bad. People are just mistaken. Still I was not into prayers and all.

    After 5-6 years, I moved into a hostel for further studies. Then, again my jinn whispered in my soul (from the hadith :-)) and I started praying. But that again did not make much sense to me. I tried hard to feel the divinity/spirituality/nearness to god, etc. but none of that came ever. And that was it. The transformation started.

    I started with agnosticism but found that to be illogical. I started asking questions and discussing religion. The more I did that, the more religion looked absurd. And once, I was debating with a Catholic in my office (I loved to beat the shit out of him in the debates :-)) I just claimed I am an atheist. And believe me, I felt so good about it. Finally I said what I was. Simply.

    Since then, I have converted two friends into atheist and one into agnostic. And the mission is on!!!

    That is my conversion story. Unlike your family, mine is deeply religious. So sometimes, I feel like banging my head on the wall. But then, there are more productive ways to deal with that ;-)

    Btw, I have just got translations of 4 hadiths. But these are way above the Quran in terms of foolishness. So I haven’t really gathered the courage to start that. I am better reading my Scientific American :-)

    Sorry for rambling so much.

    Take care.

    Husain

    July 18, 2008 at 9:39 am

  19. Please, Husain, ramble more! I find deconversion stories fascinating, but when it’s someone who grew up Muslim, it’s all the more interesting to me. Maybe just because I know the struggle and the immense amount of guilt involved.

    And I’m with you — there’s the Quran level of stupidity, and then there’s hadith. Maybe after I’m done reading the Quran (rough estimate: 500 years, give or take), I’ll work up the patience to read them. They’re definitely more entertaining, that’s for sure.

    P.S. I’m not just talking to Husain when I say ramble more. If you feel like sharing your deconversion story, please, please do.

    kafirgirl

    July 18, 2008 at 9:55 am

  20. I have the hadiths ready with me. Tell me if you want that :-)

    You are right. They are much more stupid, much more crazy, and well, much more bulky.

    I’ll try to keep track with your reading of the chapters and my own copy of annotated Quran.

    Husain

    July 18, 2008 at 1:36 pm

  21. They delve into some really strange material — anal sex, menstrual blood, semen stains. I mean, WOW. Here I thought they were prudes.

    kafirgirl

    July 18, 2008 at 3:06 pm

  22. “and say nothing but the truth about God. The Messiah who is Jesus, son of Mary, was only an apostle of God,”

    In this context, see verses 19:88-92 which describes what will happen if anyone calls Jesus the Son of God.
    “They say: “(God) Most Gracious has begotten a son!” Indeed ye have put forth a thing most monstrous! At it the skies are ready to burst, the earth to split asunder, and the mountains to fall down in utter ruin,That they should invoke a son for (God) Most Gracious.For it is not consonant with the majesty of (God) Most Gracious that He should beget a son.”

    http://www.answering-christianity.com/cgi-bin/quran/quran_search1.cgi?search_text=19%3A88-92&B1=Search

    The point is that Christians have been calling Jesus “Son of God” for some 600-odd years or so before the advent of Islam and some 1400 years after the advent of Islam. Have the skies burst? Can the skies burst? Has the earth split asunder? This shows that these are not words of God but words of Muhammad. At the same time, notice that Jesus is “Son of God” for Christians and “Apostle of God” for muslims-2 contrasting views for the last 1400 years. But reality seems to be http://www.jesusneverexisted.com.

    Anand

    July 21, 2008 at 4:18 am

  23. “In His place they invoke only females ” Only females? WTF?

    Women are the very maifestation of fame(kirti), glory(sri), eloquent speech(vaak), memory(smriti), intelligence(memory), forberance(dhriti) and forgiveness(kshama).-See verse 10:34 of the Bhagavad Gita

    And this Arabic moron talks of women as “only females”?

    Anand

    July 21, 2008 at 4:27 am

  24. *Read intelligence(medha)

    Anand

    July 21, 2008 at 4:33 am

  25. “116. God does not forgive that compeers be ascribed to Him, and absolves all else whatsoever He will. And he who associates compeers with God has indeed wandered far astray.”

    Yeah. He doesnot forgive compeers being ascribed to Him. But u know what? He and His Angels pray to/salute Muhammad.-See Verse 33:56.

    Sher Ali:
    [033:056] ALLAH sends down HIS blessings on the Prophet and HIS angels pray for(yussalloona) him. O ye who believe, you too should invoke HIS blessings on him and salute him with the salutation of peace.

    http://www.answering-christianity.com/cgi-bin/quran/quran_search1.cgi?search_text=33%3A56&B1=Search

    See also how the word “yusalloo” is translated in Arabic in verse 4:102

    http://www.answering-christianity.com/cgi-bin/quran/quran_search1.cgi?search_text=4%

    3A102&B1=Search

    (Most translators realise that how damaging it will be to translate the word “yussalloona” in 33:56 as what it actually means.)

    Verse 33:56 is probably the reason why muslims say “Ba Khuda deewana….ba muhammad hoshiar”.

    Anand

    July 21, 2008 at 4:41 am

  26. “No calamity ( or commotion ) occurs on earth, or to yourselves, but is in a decree before We created it. That is easy for God”

    “And the keys of the unseen are with God, who alone knows them. And God knows what is on the land and in the sea. And not a leaf falls ( or a lump rises ) but God knows it”

    “God is not to be thwarted ( now I am in big trouble ) by anything in the heaven or on earth, for God is omniscient, all-powerful” ( Yet his powers fall short, often and then there was this angel who wouldn’t bow to him )

    “That will come to be because they followed that which angered Allah, and shunned that which pleases Him.” ( That is a bad sign for me )

    “And the might belongs to Allah and to His Messenger.” ( Now I am outnumbered too )

    “Grieve not. Indeed, Allah is with us.” ( Whew .. there’s hope for me yet )

    Those who believe, then disbelieve and then (again) believe, then disbelieve, and then increase in disbelief, Allah will never pardon them. ( Oops, alarm bells, allah seems to be vacillating more than us most mere mortals though, he may change his mind)

    Ask forgiveness for them (O Muhammad), or ask not forgiveness for them; though thou ask forgiveness for them seventy times Allah will not forgive them. That is because they disbelieved in Allah and His messenger ( May day may day Mayhem, even the prophet can’t speak on my behalf now )

    They believed, then disbelieved, therefore their hearts are sealed so that they understand not. … Whether thou ask forgiveness for them or ask not forgiveness for them is all one for them; Allah will not forgive them.( I should sign my will now )

    Cheerio folks .. skin peels and steaming water await me … that’s god’s idea of a perpetual sauna bath .. and plz. keep that Ali on a tight leash, don’t want him to butt in and spoil it all for me, alla has made provisions for his sort too … pederasty U know ..

    Anubis

    August 1, 2008 at 12:26 am

  27. Fucking Brilliant!!!

    I’ve been sopping this blog up with a biscuit, it’s so fucking good. And it’s hilarious, more so to me because you write sort of like the way i do on my blog [although your subjects are admittedly more interesting, at least to me and all your other readers].

    I applaud your anonymity, because you do it for the noble cause of protecting your loved ones and not yourself. It’s a crying shame that we should live in a world that forces these conditions on people, but you’re fighting the good fight and that’s what counts.

    As far as the slavery thing goes, there are predominantly Muslim countries that do still have slavery in this day and age, and i don’t mean the mental kind. Mali, Niger, and Mauritania are among various countries that still have slavery and their justifications are rooted in -gasp- Islamic scripture! Here’s a happy link to add to it:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery#Current_situation

    Hope it helps and keep it coming!.

    Priest

    August 17, 2008 at 9:38 pm

  28. Hey Priest — thank you so much. I’m so glad you’re enjoying it. Feel free to leave a link of your blog in the open link post (http://kafirgirl.wordpress.com/2008/07/23/link-share/). And wow — what a depressing link. I’ll make sure and post it on the Friday week in review. It might ruin everyone’s weekend, but they need to know, damnit!

    kafirgirl

    August 17, 2008 at 9:47 pm

  29. God gives us free will, but then punishes us for eternity if we use it in a way he doesn’t like. Uhhhh…. okay.

    David

    August 18, 2008 at 1:31 pm


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